A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 12 – Is it normal to tip?

Download audio file (anlimc12.mp3)
 

at tigerweet

Mark: Ok. So here am I at my room in Mosquito City at the Grand Hotel. It is a lovely big room. I didn’t give Brad a tip. I hope I didn’t do the wrong thing. I wonder if people usually tip in Mosquito City and I wonder how much they tip. I know! I will call Rodney on the room phone and I will ask him…Here we are…Hello..hello..hello…
Receptionist: Hello, Sir. Hello. How are you doing?
Mark: It is me. Mark. How are you Rodney?
Receptionist: Hello, Mark. How are you?
Mark: Good good. I just wanted to ask. I had an embarrassing moment there. When Brad the bellboy came up with me…Is it normal to tip in Mosquito City?
Receptionist: Sir, you never tip in Mosquito City. It is the worst possible thing you can do. So you did the right thing. Just have a good time Sir.
Mark: Really, really. Right so you don’t tip here. That is good.
Receptionist: No. Never ever tip. Never make the mistake of tipping because it is an offence to the Mosquito culture.
Mark: It is considered rude?
Receptionist: It is very condescending, Sir.
Mark: That is interesting.
Receptionist: So you did the right thing.
Mark: Thank you very much.
Receptionist: You are welcome.
Mark: Bye.
Receptionist: Bye.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 11 – Are you the bellboy?

Download audio file (anlimc11.mp3)
 

at markwhite

Mark: Are you the bellboy?
The Bellboy: That is right. I am the bellboy.
Mark: Right. Ok. My name is Mark. How are you?
Bellboy: Hi. I am Brad. I am Brad the Bellboy.
Mark: Nice to meet you.
Bellboy: Nice to meet you.
Mark: So…
Bellboy: Are you having a good time there?
Mark: Yeah. I don’t have any bags but can you show me where my room is?
Bellboy: Sure. Just follow me.
Mark: Ok.
Bellboy: It is up here.
Mark: Off we go then. Ok.
Bellboy: Be careful because it is a little bit steep there.
Mark: Ok. Where are you from Brad?
Bellboy: I am from Belfast.
Mark: You are from Belfast.
Bellboy: I have been here for about two years.
Mark: Oh yeah. Why did you come here?
Bellboy: I came because I like the sunshine you know and the palm trees and all the free kind of fruit everywhere.
Mark: Right.
Bellboy: There are fruit trees everywhere if you look out the window.
Mark: Right ok.
Bellboy: It is really great.
Mark: This is my room here, is it?
Bellboy: That’s right.
Mark: Ok, mate. Thanks very much.
Bellboy: (Is there) anything else you need?
Mark: No.
Bellboy: Ok. Have a nice time. Bye.
Mark: Ok. See ya.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 10 – The Hotel Receptionist

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at Pulseman

Mark: OK, so I was arrested and I was in a prison cell and now I am free and I have got a week’s free accommodation at the Grand Hotel. I am going to go and check in….Hello.
Receptionist: Hello Can I help you sir?
Mark: My name is Mark White and..
Receptionist: Hello Mark. How are you? Are you having a good time?
Mark: Yes, I am as a matter of fact.
Receptionist: Wonderful.
Mark: The man at the police station told me that I was to have a week’s free accommodation.
Receptionist: That is right.
Mark: You know about it?
Receptionist: Here is your key.
Mark: Oh thank you very much.
Receptionist: And the bellboy will take you up there. Have you got any luggage, sir?
Mark: No.
Receptionist: No, no luggage. No cases? OK.
Mark: They lost my luggage.
Receptionist: Just up those stairs.
Mark: OK thank you.
Receptionist: And have a wonderful time and if you need any help…(If you have) any problems, just give me a ring.
Mark: OK. Thank you. So what’s your name?
Receptionist: Rodney.
Mark: Rodney, Mark. (shaking hands)
Receptionist: Hello. (shaking hands)
Mark: Nice to meet you, Rodney. See you then.
Receptionist: Bye.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 9 – The Prison Cell

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at Still Burning

Mark: Ok. Here I am. I am in a prison cell in Mosquito City and I have been here for about three or four hours now. They have given me some food and it is clean and it is a nice place. A big room with pictures on the walls and a nice view out the window. But I…Hallo Hallo. Somebody is coming. Hello.
Customs Officer: Hallo. Hallo. How are you doing? We are terribly sorry.
Mark: Yes?
Customs Officer: We are terribly sorry for keeping you and arresting you and all the inconveniences you have been through.
Mark: So I can go?
Customs Officer: Yes, you can go and we have even paid for your stay at the Grand Hotel.
Mark: Really?
Customs Officer: Yeah. Because we made a terrible mistake. We thought you were a smuggler.
Mark: Wow!
Customs Officer: So anyway just where my finger is pointing you will see a beautiful hotel and you have the penthouse suite at the top.
Mark: Wow! Ok. Right.
Customs Officer: You can stay there for a week.
Mark: Wow!
Customs Officer: We are so embarrassed.
Mark: Oh Wow!
Customs Officer: We are so sorry.
Mark: Wow! A week’s free accommodation.
Customs Officer: And have a great holiday!
Mark: Thank you. Bye.
Customs Officer: And also welcome to Mosquito Bay.
Mark: Thank you.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 8 – The Rescue

Download audio file (anlimc8.mp3)

at Today is a Good Day

(snoring)

Mark: Well, it has been a week now. I have been drifting on John’s boat. I can still see Mosquito City. We have eaten fish and chips every day three times a day. Oh somebody is coming! Somebody is coming. A helicopter is coming. Oh there is a helicopter. Oh there is a boat over there. John, wake up. Wake up. Somebody is coming. It is the Mosquito City Navy. The Mosquito City Navy is going to rescue us. John! John!
Naval Officer: Hello anybody on the boat? is anybody there?
Mark: Yes, help help. We have been drifting for seven days. Can you help us to get to Mosquito City?
Naval Officer: So what is your name?
Mark: Mark and this is John asleep here. He has passed out. Maybe he needs a doctor.
Policeman: You know there are about ten policemen who want to come on your boat and search it.
Mark: Sure just rescue us. Can take us to port? I need some fresh fruit.
Policeman: So if you would like to put your hands forward so we can search you sir?
Mark: Ok … This is terrible searching a victim of a shipping accident.
Policeman: I am sorry Sir. This is just something we have to do.
Mark: This is terrible. I am a victim What are doing this for? I am a victim.
Policeman: We have had some information about this boat.
Mark: …. of a captain who forgot to buy fuel… What about the boat?
Policeman: We have had some very worrying information about this boat so we have to search you and if you would like to put your hands forward we will put the handcuffs on you..
Mark: Oh no. I have been arrested! I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been arrested! Oh no! What next?

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 7 – We ran out of fuel

Download audio file (anlimc7.mp3)

at Today is a Good Day

(Storm noises)
 
Mark: Well, here I am. I am still on John’s boat. We have been drifting for two days. We ran out of fuel.
John: We haven’t run out of food yet. We have got plenty of food.
Mark: We have caught a few fish. We caught some nice fish.
John: We have done very well thank you very much.
Mark: We have got plenty of potatoes. and we have been eating fish and chips three meals a day for two days.
John: I think you are exaggerating, aren’t you? That is an exaggeration.
Mark: Well, we have only had fish and chips. What else did you eat?
John: Fish and chips. Yeah. You are right. But it is a good basic diet.
Mark: Do you think anyone is going to come and rescue us?
John: Well it is just a matter of waiting for the wind. We have got sails on the banana boat.
Mark: Ah we have got sails. Where are the sails?
John: Well we don’t need them at the moment because there is no wind. I think we are going to be here for maybe a couple more days. Is that ok?
Mark: I guess so.
John: Ok. Go and get the fishing rod out.
Mark: Ok.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 6 – About Two and a Half Hours

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at MiyagiDK

Mark: Well, here I am on John’s banana boat and we are speeding across the ocean towards Mosquito City. We will be there soon. I am going to go into the wheelhouse and have a yarn to John.
Mark: Gidday John.
John: How are doing? All right?
Mark: Alright.
John: Are you having a good ride?
Mark: Yeah, I am having a great time.
John: Ah. It is a lovely day,isn’t? All those black clouds above us.
Mark: Yes. Did you see the dolphins and the flying fish before?
John: No. You saw them, did you?
Mark: Yes, at the bow there.
John: Wow! Have you seen this tattoo? I have got a dolphin on my tattoo.
Mark: Wow! Dolphins are great, aren’t they? I love dolphins. So. How? (When) will we be there? So how far is it now?
John: Well, what do you think? You can see it in front of you.
Mark: Right. Ok. How long will it take?
John: Maybe about another two and a half hours.
Mark: Right.
John: If we don’t run out of fuel. We could run out of fuel actually. I forgot to load the fuel on.
Mark: Oh no! What are we going to do?
John: I have got some fishing rods. Do you like fishing? We could do some fishing.
Mark: Yeah I like fishing. If we run out of fuel, what will we do?
John: Fishing.
Mark: Fishing?
John: Yeah, you can catch a fish for me.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 5 – About Three Hours

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at DanieVDM

Mark: Ok so that’s one ..I have gone about a mile now so I must be pretty close. That boat there! Hey, there is a man! Excuse me.
John: Yes. What do you want?
Mark: My name is Mark. Are you John?
John: I am John. Yeah.
Mark: Nice to meet you.
John: Nice to meet you.
Mark: Nice to meet you. (shaking hands)
John: Good to meet yer, mate.(shaking hands)
Mark: Nice to meet you.
John: What can I do for you?
Mark: I want to go to Mosquito City.
John: Mosquito City?! Oh that’s great.
Mark: Ok.
John: I love Mosquito City.
Mark: Do you work on this boat?
John: It is my boat.
Mark: And are you going to Mosquito City?
John: I am going to Mosquito City.
Mark: Will you take me there?
John: I will take you there.
Mark: How much?
John: Well. I don’t know. It only takes about three hours you know but I think maybe ..aah…
Mark: How much? How much?
John: Ah. Just give us a hundred dollars.
Mark: A hundred dollars? A hundred bucks? Ok. Here you are.
John: Thank you very much.
Mark: Ok. When do we leave?
John: Well, we leave now.
Mark: Ok. Let’s go.
Sailor: Get on.
Mark: Let’s go.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 4 – The Boat

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Joanne

Mark: Well, I can’t get a plane ticket to Mosquito City. I am going to go down to the ocean and try and find a boat. I am going to get to Mosquito City by boat. Ok. Lets see. Here we are now. Here is the ocean and here are the ships. I am gonna… There is a sailor there. I am going to ask that sailor if he knows where I can find a boat to Mosquito City.
Mark: Excuse me!
Sailor: Yeah. What do you want, mate?
Mark: I am going to..I want to go to Mosquito City.
Sailor: Mosquito City. Oh! Wow! Well, its a great place, Mosquito City, mate!
Mark: You have been there?
Sailor: Oh, yeah. My wife lives there.
Mark: Really?
Sailor: Yeah.
Mark: And you live there too?
Sailor: Yep. I live there too.
Mark: But you are a sailor so you…
Sailor: I am a sailor. We do importing and exporting from Mosquito Island.
Mark: Mosquito City?
Sailor: Oh City. Yeah. It is on an island. You know that don’t you?
Mark: Ok, ok, so I want to go there. Can I go (there) on your boat?
Sailor: No, but if you walk about a mile to your left.
Mark: A mile. What is that in kilometers?
Sailor: Oh I do not know. Its about..how many kilometres is that?
Mark: 1.2, is it?
Sailor: Something like that.
Mark: So I walk about 1.2 kilometers in that direction… this direction?…that direction?
Sailor: Yeah, that direction.
Mark: That direction! Ok.
Sailor: And you will come across a big banana boat.
Mark: A banana boat.
Sailor: In the docks.
Mark: Ok.Ok.
Sailor: . And … yeah, just ask for John. He is a friend of mine. Ok? He will take you there.
Mark: Ok. Ok. Good on yer.
Sailor: And it should take you about three hours to get there. It is not far. You can almost see it. If you look over here… See that?
Mark: Ok. Ok. I am going. I am going.
Sailor: See the seagulls?
Mark: This way! John! John!
Sailor: All the seagulls are going there.
Mark: Ok. John! John!
Sailor: Yeah.
Mark: Ok. I’ll go. Thanks a lot. What is your name?
Sailor: Frederick.
Mark: Nice to meet you, Frederick. My name’s Mark.
Sailor: Hi. Nice to meet you, mate. Yeah.
Mark: Sayonara.
Sailor: Say “Hello” to my wife when you get there.
Mark: Sayonara.
Sailor: Cheers.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 3 – The Disguise

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at xrodgers

Mark: Ok, Now I have got a beard and mustache and a hat. I am going to go back into that travel agent and try to buy a ticket again. Here goes!
Mark: Hello.
The Travel Agent: Hello, Sir. Hello again. Can I help you?
Mark: Ah. Sorry?
The Travel Agent: Hello again. Nice to see you again. Can I help you, Sir?
Mark: I have never been here before in my life. What do you mean “Hello again?”
The Travel Agent: Oh! I thought you were somebody who I met previously…
Mark: No! I have never seen you before in my life.
The Travel Agent: …who has now decided to go to a fancy dress party…
Mark: No, no, no.
The Travel Agent: …Oh sorry, a Halloween party, is it?
Mark: I have never seen you before in my life.
Travel Agent: Wait a second. I will just go and get a …aah …sorry (on the telephone) Can I have security, please? Thank you. Bring three. Three.
Mark: Hello. Hello. I would like to buy a ticket to Mosquito City, please.
The Travel Agent: Well, Sir. If you just wait a minute. Oh, hello. Mr Johnson and Mr Jeeves (who are) standing (on) either side of you are security men that (who) want you to leave, Sir!
Mark: What is going on?
Travel Agent: You are disturbing people. Look the lady over there has fainted!
Mark: I will get my ticket somewhere else. Good-bye or should I say “Sayonara?”
The Travel Agent: You can say what you like as long as you leave the building.
Mark: Sayonara.
The Travel Agent: Goodbye!

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 2

Download audio file (anlimc2.mp3)
 

at Matthew McVicka

At the hundred yen shop, Mark buys a disguise.
The Shop Assistant: Oh Hello, Can I help you, Sir?
Mark: Yes, please. I would like to buy a beard and a mustache.
The Shop Assistant: A beard and mustache. Ah well, just go for a walk around and select the beard and mustache you want. We’ve got thousands of them.
Mark: Ok, I will take this big black one and I will take this hat as well.
The Shop Assistant: Ok. Fair enough.
Mark: How much?
The Shop Assistant: Ni-hyaku-en.
Mark: Two hundred yen.
The Shop Assistant: Two hundred yen. Yeah.
Mark: Ok. Here you are.
The Shop Assistant: This is the hundred yen beard shop.
Mark: Ok. Good. Thank you very much. Bye.
The Shop Assistant: See you.
Mark: Sayonara.
The Shop Assistant: Sayonara.

A New Life in Mosquito City – Part 1

Download audio file (anlimc1.mp3)

At The Travel Agent


Mark: Hello.
The Travel Agent: Good afternoon, Sir. Can I help you?
Mark: Yes, please, I just quit my job. I am finished here. I want to get out of Japan. I want to go and live in Mosquito City. Can you sell me a ticket to Mosquito City?
The Travel Agent: Wait a minute. Let me just check on the computer…. Hi John, have you heard anything about Mosquito City? What? Oh! Have you got some tickets? Yes, John has got some tickets. I haven’t at the moment because it is a very popular place, but we can get you a ticket.
Mark: Ok. Is it a direct flight?
The Travel Agent: Yes, a direct flight.
Mark: I only want a one way ticket. I am not coming back.
The Travel Agent: No, you have to come back.
Mark: Can I throw away the other half of the ticket? Can I buy a return and then stay there? How can you stop me? I can do what I like. I am free. Once I get to Mosquito City, I can do what I like.
The Travel Agent: Well there are certain rules before you go … obviously by what you are saying and the way you are dealing with the situation, Sir, we are going to have to deny you…
Mark: You won’t sell me a ticket? Oh no I should have kept my big mouth shut.
The Travel Agent: You are a bit of an extremist.
Mark: How can I get to Mosquito City? If only I had kept my big mouth shut!